| Wednesday, July 28, 2004 |
| What did I do...? |
Deal...I'll go as plain as it can get today.
First off, my fingers and toes are inefficient tools to count my blessings and/or wishes from yesterday. I mean WHOA! I can't even claim to be jilted out of a dream. I saw, felt, shook hands, hugs (umm...got that from Chotu). You gotta be somebody to get all that attention. Now, that's not the 'bigshot' somebody who gets mobbed by freakin fans, but s-o-m-e-b-o-d-y.
26th July 2004
11:29 P.M.- JayC sends me his wishes over sms.
11:58 P.M.- Chotu calls and doesn't wanna hang up before it strikes 00hrs. "Happy Birthday!, she squeals with joy. [:)] I love her innocence.
27th July 2004
12:09 - Rishabh's sms
12:30 - Bizzy putting up with lions chasing in my dreams.
Day-break and Pa continues to be in his 'don't dare breath' moods. Didn't think that verbal duel from day-before would linger on his mind. Got out with Tough-my doggie and got him to do his morning chores. Went for a long walk and I insist that it is impossible to explain what the dawn's initial gust of wind does to you. But the litmus paper in me is as predictable as any student demands to know. Came home to see Pa in the same rotten mood.
A groggy looking Ma wished me...Gawd! you made my day. Thank you for not putting me through the :To continue, please set off reminders in people's thought devices:. Bhai followed in a short while. Says, "where's the party yaar?" I say, "where are you yaar?". He will be he and I will be I, and the twain shall never meet. :-)
Scrubbed clean and felt like a happy dog, waiting to lap up the fresh milk poured into the tray. Slipped into fresh linen and the usual kohl and bindi art followed. One long self-adoring look in the mirror and a relaxed muttering under the breath, "Happy Birthday to me."
Pritpaw calls to say, "Happy Birthday old gurl. I want to really meet you today, but i don't know." Me says, "Chillax. We'll meet @ leisure".
Quickly gobbled food and promptly hopped into the first connector bus to the HCLT bus stop.
Puneet sings me the birthday song and i put up the obvious embarrassed face. Says, "Be happy!"
Enter office, and one day full of replying to some gazillion mails from people I know, some faceless and some least expected. Found some e-roses too. Yea! I know what you think of, but I didnt expect them either. *tongue in cheek*
JayC gave me 'Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr Brain Weiss' n that freak guy, Somak gave me 'Mario Puzo's Fools Die'.
Post generous bestowal of Kaju Barfi, stood through 120 pair of hands breaking into an applause. The team @ office gave a couple of cassettes (one assorted - Heavy Fuel and the other Pink Floyd) that I'd personally bought and wrapped. Not many people getta do it, or do they?
During the day, my college pals - Shaweta, Rojee and Cham-cham called. Great conspirators! All of 'em knew what awaited me @ DC.
While on the bus out of office, landed an unintended punch on Puneet's lower jaw. A couple of teeth bit into his lower lip and he was bleeding. Shute! I was aghast. I hurriedly offered, "I will not punch people." He improved it to read, "I will not punch Puneet." *crouching tiger hidden dragon*
Venue: District Center (Janakpuri) - Initial hiccups past, entered Muffins (the gang's favorite haunt after Barista Cafe'). Rishabh painfully waiting for something to happen. He was more mobile than on other days. While fiddling with his phone, I saw chotu's # in the recent call list. Fishy! I denied intuition. Minutes later, I was standing @ the cash counter and a grinning Chotu with her treasured basketball cap (why do i feel she shot it from her bro?), walks in with a bunch of flowers.
I am glad, I didnt say BS or something. Gaping again. Managed to squeak, "What are you doing here?" She unfazed and brimming with the winner's glee, "Happy Birthday!" This is crazy people...I tell you so. Surprises are very injurious to the normal functioning of this discomfited zone of my mind. Simbly put, 'I hate surprises.'
AND, somebody demands ransom to keep shut about the itinerary. I say, surprises will drive the Iblis out of my mind someday. You toads don't want that, do you?? Remember! no Iblis, no fuel. No fuel, no mutant. No mutant, no muse.
And before i end, here *hug*
PS: Viks, are you hearing?!? Bad Bro! *frown*
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posted by Shivranjini Krishnamurthy @ 7/28/2004 11:55:00 PM  |
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| Sunday, July 25, 2004 |
| Disillusion |
Another document scrap from my diary
Background: I did this some few years back. It is not complete but try as i may, i fail to switch to that mode.
I see it, I feel it
mousing under the epidermis
lurking in the vortex of nemesis
choking the gut till all else falleth
Gulp! this is disillusion
akin to laceration
retribution, palpitation, salvation
yea...this is disillusion
... 27th July 2000
PS: Think I'll compose a tune to go along, only when i manage to finish it.
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| posted by Shivranjini Krishnamurthy @ 7/25/2004 08:52:00 PM |
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| Wednesday, July 07, 2004 |
| Document scrap from my diary |
Now, I know what bothers me so bad these few days. That buzzing in the back of my head, the kind you hear from the drill machine, it nearly killed me when I woke up today. ‘Non-achievement’. The feeling of being ‘useless’. When people churn out whip-a-crack out of ur ‘no work’ status.
Constant transmutation: That barren land I see from my balcony has lush grass now but not a sprig of green belongs to me. The pigeon family had a go at the welcome party lined up for their hatchlings. All new blitzkaboo of K-L-M serials n other miscellany. Broken toenail replaced with its namesake, stubs resurface on waxed arms. Day-break > Sun > Sweat > print-outs on the wall > Lunch-room > Food > My bus back home > The moon > Sleep-pattern. But zilch change on me.
With due credits to Marlon Brando, "I could have been somebody instead of a bum, which is what I am."
I couldn’t, in all those re-runs of history; cannot and will never have the grit to laugh at myself. They laughed and I smiled back...the consequence was promptly driven back into my head.
Maybe that’s what got me looking forward to the trekking trip that WAS to be. It no more is. Courtesy, the conspiracy masterminded by nature. Landslides and Cloudburst killed about 17 n many more injured.
oh! btw, nicotine does NOT help. Tried. Tested. Trusted?!? *BAH* That's another story.
Another turning point and a fork stuck in the road -- Green Day
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| posted by Shivranjini Krishnamurthy @ 7/07/2004 02:43:00 PM |
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